First Aired 9/24/99
Michael: Now I work for Craig.
Roger: Well, you're on his team.
Michael: "His team"? I'm on his damn "team"? What is this, gym class? Who started this "team" crap, anyway?
Dr. Theo: We built a man with the speed of Michael Jordan-- the strength of Superman and the grace of Fred Astaire.
Dr. Theo: Call it mother's intuition, but I think our boy's
about to check his package.
Michael: (to himself) Holy crap!
Dr. Theo: Damn right. Made in America, baby. Made in America.
Dr. Theo: Mr. Wiseman, over the past six months we've performed a complicated series of operations. I'm tempted to call them "transplants," but in truth there was no you to transplant them to. So let's call them "operations." In fact, let's agree that you have been the recipient of some of the most sophisticated surgical thinking and practice in the history of medicine. In addition, you have been inoculated with and intravenously fed over 700 highly-experimental and I believe extraordinarily- promising hormones, steroids and vaccines that also were developed uniquely for you and this project. Now, I mention all that because I'm embarrassed to admit that in the midst of all those surgeries, all those implant procedures all the beta trials, tests, failures and successes, it just never occurred to any of us to shove a rocket up your ass. No, I'm sorry. You can't fly.
Dr. Theo: You can't see through people's clothes either.
Michael: Well, I could go for a devil dog now. You wouldn't
have anything like that here, would you?
Dr. Theo: We would ask whenever you're at home you use this lavatory. Which has been specially equipped to collect both your liquid and solid waste for further study.
Michael: You know what? I'm not really hungry anymore.
Dr. Theo: You mind if I make a pit stop before I head home?
Michael: Hey, my waste collection room is your waste collection room.
Quotes from "On the Town" »