Episode 2: "On the Town"
First Aired 10/1/99

Unknown Person from Social Services: Well, perhaps you should think about getting a job. Did you attend college?
Lisa: Yes, yes, I did. And I have been checking the want ads. Unfortunately, where I live all the good art historian positions are taken.

Michael: Think we can make an exception this once and just let Michael do his business with the other boys in the locker room?
Dr. Theo: I need a team to run Mr. Wiseman back to the townhouse.
Michael: Our tax dollars at work.

Senator: We've got to put out an all-points bulletin.
Dr. Theo: Really, Senator? Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't you just spend $3 billion on this secret weapon? How secret is he going to be after you shellac his face all over the 6:00 news?

Roger: Who are you?
Michael: I'm nobody. You don't want to know.
Roger: Yes, I do. Once my heart starts beating normally again I would very much like to know what kind of person comes smashing through a 17th-story window, half naked.

Roger: But you're wrong about me. They're very afraid of me. I know, right now, I may look kind of meek, but you get me out of this suit and into a pair of polo jeans...

Roger: Who are you?
Michael: I can't tell you that.
Roger: Why not?
Michael: Because once they know you know, you die.
Roger: Not a lot of wiggle room there, is there?

Heather: Then we'll be able to throw big parties and take lots of vacations like the people on E! True, someday the money will run out, but then we'll be like the people on behind the music on VH1 -- tragic but kind of inspirational.
Lisa: I, for one, am glad we can't afford cable anymore.

Roger: Wait! What exactly is it you're going to do here? You want to peep?
Michael: No, no. I want to peek, not peep. With a "k," not a "p."

Michael: Oh, this is great. This is everything I could have hoped for.
Roger: They're washing dishes!
Michael: Yeah, look at that.
Roger: What are you going to do on laundry day? Hijack a bus?

Roger: You know, you hear these stories about people coming back as bugs or cows, but, I mean, a stud muffin? How does that work? Did you put in some kind of special request or did you do some extraordinarily good deed?

Dr. Theo: (to an agent) What's this knucklehead talking about?
Agent: He thinks you're God, Wiseman's been reincarnated and I'm some kind of burning bush. (Beat) You still want me to kill him? He's awfully annoying. (Beat) He does work for an insurance company.

Dr. Theo: (to Roger) You know who I am, don't you? (Roger nods) So you know what I'm capable of, don't you? (Again, Roger nods) Then hear me, friend: if you breathe a word of what you've seen tonight -- if you breathe a single syllable of your theory -- I will smite your ass so fast you'll skip right past heaven and hell and be turned straight into pus.
Roger: Pus?
Dr. Theo: Pus. It's got to come from somewhere, right?

Lisa: You have kids?
Gerald Misenbach (Lisa's attorney and date for the evening): Yeah. Two.
Lisa: A wife?
Gerald: Yeah, one.
Lisa: So, am I the stupidest woman that you've ever met?

Lisa: Thank you for taking such good care of me.
Michael: Thank you for taking such good care of me.


Quotes from "Over Easy"