Episode 7: "A Girl's Life"
First Aired 11/12/99

Dr. Theo: Terrific synthesis of form and function if I do say so myself.
Michael: And you do -- all the time.

Michael: Want to tell me what the point is? You're not thinking about lighting me up at night and running advertising all over me, are you? I'm an artist. I won't allow myself to be used that way.

Dr. Theo: Mr. Wiseman, you're about to make a historic contribution to science and technology. And if all goes as planned you will have been instrumental in helping to protect your country from attacks by outside forces that seek to do it harm.
Michael: If I had known that, I would have worn clean underwear.

Michael: 30,000 feet? What am I going to be doing at 30,000 feet?
Dr. Theo: Jumping out of an airplane.
Michael: I don't think so.
Dr. Theo: Think again.

Dr. Theo: Mr. Wiseman, you're only eight miles from the target. Any questions?
Michael: Yeah, I got a question. Where the hell's my parachute?

Dr. Theo: Mr. Wiseman, how are we doing?
Michael: We're not doing well. Nobody told me I wouldn't have a chute. I can't do this. I won't do this. I'm not... Uhmm, did you know there's people up here with guns?

Michael: Listen, next time Mr. Salvage Parts here suggests using a parachute what say we humor the artificial bastard and get him a parachute?
Dr. Theo: Right.

Michael: You have any kids?
Dr. Theo: The question of whether or not I have children is irrelevant to the conversation that we are having.
Michael: I bet you do. I bet you have some. What I can't figure out is whether you made them the old-fashioned way or put them together from some kind of kit.

Gretchen: Heather got hit by lightning.
English Teacher: Wow. And what was that like?
Heather: Well, I wouldn't recommend it.

Heather: I don't believe in anything and I'm the one who saw it. Try waking up with that every day.

Heather: Oh, God.
Lisa: Please. He's the one who got us into this.

Neighbor: I'm sorry to bother you, but I just noticed the right-most upstairs window. I'm quite sure I saw the image of the face of a man in the glass.
Lisa: Yes, well, I've been meaning to wash those windows for months now. Thank you.

Dr. Theo: We have a problem.
Michael: If it's about that extra brussels sprout I ate at dinner, I'll make it up to you. I'll go easy on the garbanzos at lunch.

Heather: Wait. If you see my Daddy, will you tell him that I love him?
Michael: Oh, he knows, honey. He knows.


Quotes from "Pulp Turkey"